Selfie Sunday: My Mother

11:26 PM

A reflection of my mother on Mother’s Day, the past weeks have been emotional, sad and depressing for me as my mother’s health wasn’t well, but, she’s a bit better now, thankfully.

Even though she’s a bit better now, she’s still in pain and even with pain, she continues to be a mother, a wife & a designer .

My mother has been sewing all her life, made clothes for herself, her sisters, her mom, I believe one of her brothers, her nieces, nephews and of course, her children (my siblings and I). She always made such cute clothes for my siblings and I, always wanted us to look our best, she has a natural eye for design & style, she even sewed our Halloween costumes once! I still remember that, I wanted a clown costume, and she made one for me❤️

Years later, in early 2000’s, one of my male cousins were going to get married, my mom made a black dress for me & that was my first dress I wore at a family party event as I always opt for dressy pants and a top, I was in my late teens.

In 2011, a female cousin was going to be wed, and I needed a dress and mother asked me what kind of dress I wanted and that she’d make one for me. I drew it up, two short pink version dresses, because I couldn’t make up my mind, and she helped me decide which one based on the pattern she knew and had from her Burda sewing magazines.

And she helped me make my dream wedding guest dress (here are the blogposts, here & here), I loved the dress and it came out SO PERFECTLY CUTE!!!😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ That dress is my ABSOLUTELY FAV DRESS I HAVE!! It is my darling, my beloved fav dress, and I’d want to die with it😝! To this day, my mother and I talk about how we love that dress💞

In 2016, another female cousin of mines was going to be wed, and my mother decided to make a dress for my twin sister and I. It was another short cute dress but in black lace🖤 She made a beautiful short dress for my twin sister that ended up being a fav dress of the night😊👌🏻❤️✨

Now, 2021, my brother is getting married next month, June 4th, my mother is sewing another dress for me. It’s a special dress, the story behind the fabric, it’s sweet, sentimental, it has meaning, I won’t share it now, maybe in the near future❤️.

But, even with pain in her neck, spine and shoulders, she’s sewing me a dress to look my best, as we both know, in malls and stores, most dresses are cheap quality, or too big on me for my slender & petite body & we’re both picky, so sewing a dress is always the best option! We have been working together on making my dress, I did fittings twice today and the dress is almost done and BOY!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO WEAR IT!! I FEEL LIKE SUCH A DOLL IN IT!!! 😍❤️✨

I love my mom, I appreciate her hard work, her talent, her love to have me always looking my best, even with all the pain she is in.

It’s bittersweet, as this dress will be the LAST DRESS sewn by my mother. I cried the past days, it’s been emotional & sad. So, I’ve been reflecting and thinking of the history of my mom making dresses for my siblings and I and herself, and well, I appreciate her, her time, her hands, her hard work, & her love❤️.

Yesterday afternoon, I was with my mom in her bedroom, helping her decide on her Mother of the Groom dress that she’s sewing herself. She was doing her fittings and I was helping her decide on things and pinning where she directed me to pin to see how things are visually. I sat back as I watched my mom look at herself in the mirror with her dress and I smiled but, also I was emotional but didn’t show my emotions, I kept it in my mind and thought of how.....this would be the last time I have moments like this with my mother, and I was sad, but I hid my sadness from her, because she was happy in her design.

The relationship of my mother and I, it’s....it’s tough, we bump heads, don’t see eye to eye, we argue, we fight, we don't get along one minute and next minute we're laughing and getting along. We love, we laugh, joke around, and cry. Our relationship, it pulls out EVERY OUNCE, EVERY TYPE OF EMOTIONS out of us, it's pretty crazy, it’s just like the mother daughter relationship of the movie, Lady Bird, which is about exploring a complex relationship between complex personalities, which is SO MY MOTHER & I, but at the end, we have love for each other, throughout the rough moments between us, we have love, a complex relationship for sure!

It’s all bittersweet, but, I love my mom at the end, and I appreciate all that she has done for me, getting my back, not giving up on me during my forever college years, & sewing my dresses. ❤️✨

My dear mother, you're a trooper, you're a soldier, and as you always say, you're made out of metal, it's very true, you are.

I love you, Happy Mother’s Day😘❤️✨

❤️Eliza