2016 Was A Blue Stream of Tears

10:11 PM

A year of what was supposed to be,
With a sudden surprise of love,
And a sudden break of heart,
Lost my focus,
Lost many chances,
Lost it all,
A year of what was supposed to be,
Was now a year of tears,
Lost dreams,
Forgotten goals,
A focused mind shifted to unfocused,
Lost my sense of goals,
Lost it all,
What was supposed to be a year of accomplishments,
Is now a year of loss.

Even though this year was mainly sad for me, there were some highlights:

  • I finished the first tshirt collection that I helped design graphic wise for Violet Love Headbands in early January, so that was nice.

  • I unexpectedly made a connection and ended up being friends with a girl named Maga.Oh who lives  all the way in South Korea. I saw a pic of her on Instagram and loved it that, I decided to randomly just draw her portrait selfie for fun and surprise her! I didn't think of the impact I would make on this girl, she was just so shocked that some stranger would want to draw/paint her and put the time for a complete stranger across the world. I honestly didn't think of that, I merely just thought of it as a fun thing to do, I didn't realize the emotional impact it would have on both of us! Anyways, we befriended each other through Instagram and through emailing, and I must say, it was a beautiful connection and a total UNEXPECTED one! She honestly was the only person who really REALLY appreciated my random draw of her, I never had someone thank me so much and want to give back to me. I was really shocked and I felt appreciated and I did get emotional, because how could I not? I just made a connection with someone through my art. Art is really powerful and I truly believe it can bring people together, that and MUSIC! ;D I'd like to continue this on and make other complete strangers happy by connecting through art! :)

  • Speaking of connecting and befriending someone across the world, I unexpectedly got close to one of my Instagram followers (I follow her too), she lives in Australia & I confined in her emotionally and she's just a sweet, awesome and beautiful soul that never judged me and was really understanding and positive! We got  close and emotionally and intellectually connected, & I found out we are pretty similar! :D I'm happy I can very much consider her a dear friend! ❤️ :)

  • I would say this year I got closer to my female friends, something I never had and it feels so nice to be connected and close to female friends, things I can share with them that I can't with my guy friends. :) But in the process of getting close to my female friends, I did get distant with my guy friends....^^' whoops!

  • I had a few of mini fun adventures with my twin sister❤️ that I will always cherish and love, and always go back running to those fun days and reminiscing ❤️:)

  • I got the haircut of my DREAMS...A UNDERCUT SIDE SHAVE!!! I got it on August 6th I believe, it was on the day of my cousins wedding, and I spontaneously decided right there and then at the salon to get a UNDERCUT SIDE SHAVE LMAO, NO REGRETS!!! :D HAPPIEST MOMENT IN 2016!!! When I finally got my dreamy haircut, I finally felt SO ME & SO BEAUTIFUL!!! 😍❤️ I felt HOME WITHIN MY OWN SELF! It was just like...FINALLY, I'M ME! :D

Although that day I quickly learned the TRUTH from having this type of non-feminine haircut, people I thought truly loved me, were actually fake, they didn't love me or show me unconditional love, which really shocked me and I was heartbroken. The only unconditional love I got was from my twin, my brother, my aunt, MY FRIENDS & MY IG FOLLOWERS/FRIENDS! Everybody else including family and relatives mainly the MALES disapproved and man, I got some dirty looks LOL, like wtf?!
Anywho, my haircut showed me the truth, who truly loves me for me & unconditionally. It was a sad truth, a BIG EYE OPENER & found out most of the guys in my family and relatives were HEAVILY SHALLOW & APPEARANCE BASED!! I guess everyone saw me as a delicate and shy type of person & they got used to that image, until I shocked them with a edgy hair-do lmao!
I don't give a fuck about these people, if you can't love me unconditionally, BYE!!!πŸ–•πŸ» #Unapologetic Be you & live your life as it was meant to be lived!!! This haircut is honestly the BEST WAY TO WEED OUT THE JERKS! :D
No fake people ONLY TRUE LOVE! ❤️

  • I opened up my online store on ArtistShops powered by Threadless, to promote my clothing brand, EZO ;) I will introduce it to you guys early next yr, when I feel ready!😊❤️✨

  • I had my first brand ambassador through Instagram which was awesome and totally unexpected! It was a nice experience, and I got to learn things about my brand and me and that I'm not completely ready to tell the whole world about it, as I still have certain things to figure out ^^. Self-discoveries in totally unexpected moments! But I guess, everyday you learn something about yourself, everyday is a day to grow❤️

  • And lastly, just days ago, an artist on a art app I'm on, French Girls app, drew my selfie which was a HAPPY UNEXPECTED MOMENT! I was really joyous and I felt what my Korean friend, Maga, felt receiving my portrait of hers and the impact it makes! It's just really lovely and it just feels so nice to have another artist draw another artist and I always draw other people, so this was a nice change & I definitely appreciate it!!! :D

  • For 2017, I want to obviously get back to my career in fashion/being an artist and make that my number 1 priority and not let anyone in my life, lesson learned, I see things a lot more clearly, sadly through loses ;( but they were all my choices, and now my regrets. I've learned from them and now I must say goodbye to them, and move on. Leaving things in 2016 & making a clear mind and soul for 2017, letting things go, so that I can heal❤️

Hope you all have a good, fun and safe NYE! :)


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